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7 More Ways to Love Yourself - Part II


I think we all secretly know how to love ourselves, we just need friendly reminders every so often. Here are a few more gems to help you embrace your sparkle.

  1. Affirm your love for yourself. Your subconscious mind stores the things that you are told, hear, feel, and it's is not good at filtering out the negative. To protect our positivity, we have to keep ourselves inspired and uplifted. Saying positive affirmations is a habit you have to make. I say my affirmations all day, every day, especially in the moments when anxiety starts to kick in or when I catch myself thinking negatively. Our West Nest's, 100 Best Morning Affirmations for Black Women to Empower Themselves Daily has been serving me well lately. They have affirmations for almost every situation in life. The Collins Dictionary defines affirmations as "the assertion that something exists or is true". Affirmations are powerful because they motivate you to act on specific things and help you to stay focused on your goals. They have the power to transform your thinking patterns from negative to positive. Affirmations help you get out of your own way and attracts what you really want to your life. My favourite affirmation is, "I am enough".

  2. Discover your own beauty by finding the beauty in others. Be open to making new friends. Make an effort to get to know people that you aren't usually drawn to. You'll be surprised by how interesting and fun people can be when you take your time get to know them. Try to listen more than talking. Open your mind to new ideas by loving every idea for at least 5 minutes. You'll build a diverse group of friends, which will help you to expand your knowledge about the world. People are like onions, every time you think you know them, you peel back another layer and realize they're even more interesting than you thought.

  3. Surround yourself with people who love you. Loving yourself is much easier if you surround yourself with people who see the good in you, love you as you are, and have your best interest at heart. People who truly love you are the ones that are the first to lift you up. They're your cheerleaders who are right there ready to remind you of how fantastic you really are. Over the last two years, with the pandemic and the many injustices that continue to happen around the world, our priorities are in sharp focus. Life is short and you only live once so doesn't it make sense to spend your time with people who love and cherish you.

  4. Treat yourself. It may be that piece of cheesecake you're craving, maybe it's that rug that that you know would be just right for your living room, or it's the car you've hesitated to buy because it seems out of reach. Whatever it is, see yourself with it, save for it, find it, and get it for yourself. It could be as simple as using a vacation day to spend the day at the spa or going all out and taking a week long trip to your favourite resort. Make yourself your top priority and treat yourself to what you desire. You deserve it!

  5. Let the music lift you. Listen to your favorite songs and sing it as loud as you want or dance as hard as you want. Create a banging playlist of your favourite songs and play it every chance you get. Dance like no one is watching. I'm talking about the mood lifting songs, not the songs that make you cry. Listen to the songs that make you feel good and help you to forget all your troubles. If you know all the words, even better. Music can turn a horrible moment in to a blast. Go listen to some good music right now, I bet you the joy will take over in no time.

  6. Surround yourself with things that bring you joy. The places you spend most of your time should be be where you can re-center or what I refer to as decompress. Ingrid Fetell Lee, author of the book Joyful has done a ton of work on the aesthetics of Joy. She believes that our greatest source of joy is the world around us. Instead of searching for never ending happiness, look out for and create moments of joy throughout your day. For example, your home should bring you joy and be that safe and happy space for you to recharge after dealing with the world. You can bring joy to your space by throwing in bright pops of color using cushions, area rugs, wall color, accessories, appliances, anything you want. I've had a blue sofa and side chair in my living room for years and after adding yellow cushions and a throw, it is now the room the whole family is drawn to.

  7. Take time to play. Loving yourself is key in knowing how to enjoy life to the fullest. When it's time to have fun, have fun and when you don't think it's time to have fun, still try to have fun. Be in the moment, it's your present, it's a gift. Try not to take everything seriously. Find humour in shitty situations and don't waste time over analyzing things. Instead, let go and have fun. When you learn how to play, you will enjoy your life and live it to the fullest. Isn't that what we are here for? Make a commitment to find more reasons to laugh and every opportunity to play.

Loving yourself is a choice. It is the decision that you are enough and the world needs you to be you.

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